personal

Authentic Ramblings

Yes. Me. Writing again. I guess it’s time.

This question seems to arise in my social media feeds quite often lately.

(Which is driving me bonkers but that’s a whole other topic.)

What are you passionate about?

Or

What do you want your dream life to look like?

This seems to be the advice I read on everything from finding your why in life to what to write about, and what to focus your energy on. Every time I hear that thought provoking yet rhetorical question, I cringe. This is exactly where I have been getting stuck.

“Be your authentic self.” says the little perfect yoga pants wearing elf with perfect hair. Oh. Sorry. Soooorrrryyy, or rather thank you for understanding that I am still trying to sort that jealous rage out.

Be your authentic self.

Ummm. I don’t know if the world is ready for that…

Seriously, I don’t know if I’m not ready for that.

But why not?

This is where my actual interests kick in, I start thinking. Thank you, Carl Jung.

I’m scared to be my authentic self, it makes me feel ill, why does it feel this bad to feel this way, what might have triggered it. If I’m going to be my authentic self, I’ve got some major shadow work to do.

I feel like a master of none. You could say I have too many passions. I have too many things going on at once. I am a dabbler and never the perfectionist.

I have perfectionists in my life. So, does that make me scared of not fitting in? Or being judged? Totally.

To my Master of None,

I’ve been trying. Trying anything. Trying is learning. I like learning. Experiencing. This hobby, that hobby, this craft, this modality, that idea… But I’m still searching, wanting some amazing connection. Looking everywhere for where I’m supposed to be. But once I do it, that’s it. I’m over it. It wasn’t right. It was too easy. I’ll know when I find it. I just having to keep trying and learning. Keep experiencing.

Passion and Perfection will come together.

2 thoughts on “Authentic Ramblings

  1. Hippies had the right idea. Just go with the flow! Dont force things, your live is busy enough, your time will come! Just accept that it is what it is, and dont let modern life take you over.
    Hope to meet you one day. XXXX

    Liked by 1 person

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